Does Your Spouse Have a Pornography Addiction?

Nov 18, 2011

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Friends and family gathered around your house to celebrate your 10th wedding anniversary last week. You have three children who are growing up fast, two already in grade school. Life is crazy, but very fulfilling. You decide to go out with some girl friends for the evening, leaving your husband to put the kids to bed.

You had a great evening and return home to find your husband looking at pornography on the computer. You are confused and frustrated. You leave the room crying. Later you discuss with your husband how upset you are and he reveals that he has been viewing sites for a couple of years. He says that he loves you and the children, but can’t stop looking at pornography. What can you do?

Here is some information obtained from Michael D. Gardner, a therapist that specializes in the treatment of sexual additions and marital relationships:

  1. It's not your fault. Your spouse is responsible for his or her decision to use pornography. It's not your fault. Don't let your spouse blame you for his or her problem.
  2. Deal with your own feelings first. When you are able to manage your own feelings and love your spouse in spite of his or her weaknesses, you can become a great source of help to him or her.
  3. Remember you are worthwhile. Recognize that you can still be a loving, responsible, successful person regardless of the choices your spouse makes.
  4. It's okay to ask for help. If needed, you can get help by talking with your bishop, a trusted friend, a family member, or a professional counselor. 
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