The Official Net Nanny Blog

6 Reasons Why You Need a Screen Time App

No one ever told me parenting was going to be easy, and I have found that parenting when your kids connect to screens for entertainment, communication, and even school has...

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After decades of helping individuals work through their addiction to pornography, I'm still amazed by the consistency of the responses I see in both the addict and those who care about him or her. When one is shackled in porn use, he or she is usually deeply frustrated and greatly perplexed by the power of their addiction—especially by the fact that when they feel the “urge wash over them, they temporarily jettison everyone and everything they care about to indulge in porn or some other sexual behavior. Afterward, they can't understand why their will power and self-discipline were so weak! At the same time, those who care about the addict feel tremendous frustration each time he or she gives in to the addiction—“Why can't you just say no! “You just need to learn to control yourself!
To understand why an addict has little or no will power and self-discipline when faced with the overwhelming urge to indulge in his addiction, you must first understand what addiction does to the brain. In the forehead area or Frontal Lobes area of the brain is the control/executive center. This is the most advanced part of our brain—what makes us human. It is the area of the brain that has to do with will, self-discipline, anticipation of consequences, reasoning, planning, and goal-setting. Addictions inhibit this part of the brain and reduce these capacities. This is one reason why addicts are so “surprised after they have indulged in violation of their own values, beliefs, resolutions, goals, memory of past consequences, etc.  
Because addictive behaviors spawn from the Limbic System or reward-pleasure-appetite-emotion-driven part of the brain, and are accompanied by a tidal wave of endogenous chemicals (natural morphine-like chemicals produced by the brain) once the individual makes up his mind to start down the path of indulgence, the frontal lobes are, as it were, “blocked out dramatically reducing “will-power and “self-control. It's like battling the addiction with only 50%, 30%, or even 20% or less of one's will, self-discipline, and self-control in operation. This is one reason why people who have never been addicted will say, “Why don't you just quit? or “Why don't you just stop looking at it? assuming that if they were addicted they could control it. 
Of course they arrive at this reasoning with 100% of their will, self-discipline, and faculties in-tact. What they don't realize is that with the logic/self-control centers of the brain severely handicapped, overcoming the urge to indulge is like running a race severely crippled. For the addict, the whole process is extremely frustrating and disheartening, because they want to quit, but it seems the harder they try the more powerless they become. 
What we know, is that without the correct knowledge, tools and relevant skills, facing one's addiction is really not a fair fight!

We Live in an Age of Addiction
We all are prime targets for addiction. We lead hectic, fast-paced, anxiety-filled lives. We often base our self-worth on our accomplishments. We drive ourselves further and further to achieve. Peace and confidence are often elusive for many good-hearted souls. As we continue to push ourselves harder and faster, we become more tired, stressed, and often more isolated. 
To help you consider further “how your addiction has advanced to where it is today, consider the example of the college student. Keep in mind that this example with just a few adjustments could describe the burned-out businessman, financially-buried single mom, and many other individuals who are struggling with the trials of life. As you read this example, ponder how it reflects your own situation:

The College Student
Imagine an individual who excitedly enters college with a burning desire to gain valuable knowledge and skills. He wants to invest in himself and develop his talents and abilities. However, he soon discovers that he is surrounded by other bright, talented and ambitious people in a very competitive and rigorous environment. He's not only in school, but he has a job in order to finance his schooling. He finds himself not just jogging, but sprinting in a rat race to just to keep up. Before long he is exhausted, but he doesn't give up; he can't slow down. He continues to work, study and sacrifice day in and day out, week after week, month after month, often for years. 
He finds himself isolated and lonely because of a lack of time, social opportunities and energy. The intense daily competition leaves him feeling insecure and questioning his own worth, uniqueness, talents and abilities. He often rises early in the morning to study, attends classes, works to earn a little spending money, studies some more in the evening, and arrives home exhausted. He has little opportunity to really “play and enjoy leisure time. He begins experiencing emotional burnout and mental and physical fatigue. Before long he finds himself craving pleasure and escape. He doesn't have much time for such things. He is a prime target and set-up for Internet porn.
He discovers that pornography is an easy, quick and cheap source of pleasure and escape. It is exciting and arousing—an extreme and intense amount of pleasure in a short period of time. Reaching climax stimulates his parasympathetic nervous system, providing instant relaxation and calmness. In fact, he even begins using self-stimulation and climax as a way to “be able to relax and go to sleep.  
Within a short period of time the student develops an addiction. He begins accessing pornography more and more often. It starts interfering with his studies and ability to focus and concentrate. He feels guilty about his behavior and tries to stop, but finds himself going back again and again. He tries to avoid even thinking about pornography and self-stimulation, and begins to fear these thoughts and his “out-of-control behavior. The more he fights the thoughts, the more they force their way into his mind. Eventually, worn out by the struggle, he gives in and finds temporary relief, only to start the obsessive/compulsive cycle all over again. 
This bright, young, honorable man finds himself shackled in chains, entrapped both in an addiction and in an obsession/compulsion. The more he tries to stop, the more difficult it becomes. The intense guilt, helplessness and discouragement become overwhelming.
Change a few of the particulars, and this story might generally describe your addiction. What this young man doesn't realize, and what you may not know, is that addiction severely alters and handicaps the Frontal Lobes, robbing the addict of his will power and self-control. While this is most certainly not an excuse or justification, it definitely explains a great deal about an addict's behavior! If the explanation ended here, there would be little hope for those who struggle under the heavy burden of addiction. But, what I have described is only the beginning! 
What I know after decades of experience helping addicts, and what the latest brain imaging studies clearly prove is this:  Frontal lobes that have been damaged by years of addiction can be healed and restored to their proper function! Yes, you can fully regain your will power and self-control! It takes time and effort. It requires that you gain the right knowledge, tools and skills. The point is, it can be done! That is what the Candeo program is all about—helping you successfully progress down the path of fully regaining your ability to choose; your free will; your self-esteem and self-confidence. Many have regained their lives and so can you. All you need do is start moving forward one step at a time down the recovery path. Let Candeo help you take your first step today. For more information, visit www.candeocan.com

Porn Can Cripple Your Will Power!

After decades of helping individuals work through their addiction to pornography, I'm still amazed by the consistency of the responses I see in both the addict and those who care...

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Associated Press recently released an article discussing how some internet filtering products actually gather and sell your private information.  In most cases, this includes, but is not limited to, private IM or Chat conversations and Internet browsing history.

“Software sold under the Sentry and FamilySafe brands can read private chats conducted through Yahoo, MSN, AOL and other services, and send back data on what kids are saying about such things as movies, music or video games. The information is then offered to businesses seeking ways to tailor their marketing messages to kids.

Although Net Nanny will capture and log conversations through Yahoo, MSN, AOL and other services, parents have the option to enable/disable remote reporting.  If enabled, this data is encrypted and securely sent to our servers where only you can authorize access to that data. Net Nanny will never share your personal browsing history or children's IM (Instant Message) conversations with any third parties.  Net Nanny believes in keeping your family’s privacy secure.

In addition to avoiding companies that engage in the unauthorized selling of your personal Internet activities, you may want to watch out for Parental Control products that “data mine.  Data mining is the process of analyzing or gathering specific data, usually for the use of identifying customer interests and patterns.  Many software companies, including some parental control vendors, may be using your information for data mining.  It’s well known that many URL-based internet filtering companies will actually use your browsing history to help expand its constantly growing list of websites; unlike Net Nanny which uses dynamic contextual analysis.  Rest assured, Net Nanny will never share, sell, or disclose your personal information. We are in the business of keeping your family safe.

Watch Out, Some Parental Control Products Sell Your Private Info

Associated Press recently released an article discussing how some internet filtering products actually gather and sell your private information.

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It’s obvious that pornography degrades and destroys women’s rights by portraying them as a simple collection of body parts whose sole purpose is to “service men. Porn triggers a narrow focus on women that ignores her inner beauty, gifts, talents, worth, remarkable contributions—the “whole person; everything she is that has nothing to do with the shape of her body. But porn doesn’t have an exclusive on ignoring a woman’s true value and trashing women’s rights.

Sexualized Media--a Destroyer of Women's Rights

It’s obvious that pornography degrades and destroys women’s rights by portraying them as a simple collection of body parts whose sole purpose is to “service men.

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The mountains of clinical data and visual evidence as millions continue their out-of-control porn use despite consequences of divorce, loss of employment, destroyed reputations, prison time, etc., shouts the obvious: “YES, 

PORNOGRPAHY IS ADDICTIVE! And just in case there are still out there a few stubborn hold-outs, research is currently being conducted by some of the world’s leading experts in the neuroscience and neuropsychology fields that will provide the clinical evidence required to officially enter sex and pornography as “addictions in the DSM (Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).

Some cringe with labeling pornography as “addictive because they believe doing so affords the porn user an excuse: “I can’t help myself, I’m addicted. This is a preposterous position. When someone is addicted to alcohol, do we excuse his behavior because “he can’t help it? Just because someone suffers with an addiction doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a choice. 

For many years, my colleagues and I (Dr. Hyde) have worked in our clinics helping individuals break free from pornography and many other addictions. There is always a choice when it comes to breaking free from addictive behaviors.

The more important question is not “Is pornography addictive? but rather, “Is pornography a drug addiction? Does pornography use lead to a chemical dependency commonly experienced with illicit street drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and prescription drugs? Is pornography use “substance abuse?
Immediately, there are some in the scientific, medical and psychology fields who fire back, “How can you classify pornography as a drug or a substance? It doesn’t come in a liquid, powder or pill form. You don’t ingest it or inject it. 

My response is two-fold:

  1. 1. When an individual ingests or injects a “drug, that chemical travels to the receptors in the brain and other parts of the body, seeking to “mimic the body’s own natural neurotransmitters. In effect, the drug tries to “fake the body into releasing its own natural or endogenous chemicals. For example, Prozac triggers the body to release its own natural serotonin. Likewise, pornography “mimics sexual intimacy and “fakes the body into releasing a tidal wave of endogenous chemicals, which is exactly what pharmaceutical and illicit street drugs do. Can pornography not then be referred to as a “drug?
  2. 2. For those who insist on precision in the use of scientific terms such as “drug, allow me to put your minds at rest. Can we agree that pornography viewing triggers the release of the body’s own endogenous chemicals, just as sexual intimacy does? And that the porn viewer can become addicted to these internal chemicals just as he would if the release were triggered by a pharmaceutical drug? Is this not chemically-induced addiction? 
As renowned psychologist M. Douglas Reed states: Addiction [can] exist within the body’s own chemistry.1
And Howard Shaffer, head of Harvard’s Division on Addiction declares:
I had a great difficulty with my own colleagues when I suggested that a lot of addiction is the result of experience—repetitive, high-emotion, high-frequency experience. . . . But it’s become clear that neuroadaptation—that is, changes in neural circuitry that helps perpetuate the behavior—occurs even in the absence of drug-taking. 2 

One of the world’s leading researchers in the field of pornography as a chemical addiction is Dr. Judith Reisman. For decades she has worked closely with some of the best minds in neuroscience and neuropsychology to prove that pornography should indeed be considered a drug, a chemical dependency, a form of substance abuse. Consider some powerful statements from her and her colleagues in a widely published research paper:


A pornographic psychopharmacological flood yields epinephrine, testosterone, endorphins (endogenous morphine), oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, phenylethylamine,3 and other pharmacological stimuli. In her book published by the Institute of Medicine, Sandra Ackerman notes that epinephrine alone gets the “vertebrate brain “high on its own self produced morphine or heroin.4 Pornography, designed to alert the procreation instinct to the need to immediately respond, would be especially likely to cause users to self-medicate, kick-starting these endogenous LSD, adrenaline/norepinephrine, morphine-like neurochemicals for a hormonal flood, a “rush allegedly analogous to the rush attained using various street drugs. 5
Arousal dependence [through pornography] may be compared to biochemical alterations related to excessive amphetamine use. Satiation effects [hours looking at Internet porn] may be compared to those related to opiate use. Fantasy behavior can be related to such neurotransmitters as dopamine, norepinephrine, or serotonin, all of which are chemically similar to the main psychedelic drugs such as LSD. 6
Vanderbilt University psychiatrist Peter Martin’s research on “normal subjects finds the brain activity experienced in sexual arousal of his normal subjects “looks like that accompanying drug consumption. 7
Addiction [can] exist within the body’s own chemistry. Any activity that produces salient alterations in mood can lead to compulsion, loss of control and progressively disturbed functioning. 8
Pornography is not like a drug, it is an endogenously processed poly drug providing intense, although misleading, sensory rewards. 9

However you choose to say it,Pornography addiction is a chemical addiction, or, if you prefer, Pornography causes the body to release endogenous chemicals which the viewer becomes addicted to. The bottom line is: “pornography is a drug.




For More Information:
If you want to learn more about the Brain Science of Porn Addiction, and how to protect your marriage and family from this addiction, get Mark Kastleman’s acclaimed book, “The Drug of the New Millennium. You can purchase it online at Amazon.com.
If you or someone you love is trapped in pornography use, please visitwww.candeocan.com to learn how to break free. 


1. Paper presented to the National Family Foundation Convention, The Role of Pornography in Compulsive or Addictive Sexual Behaviors, November 10, 1990 in Pittsburgh, PA, Psychologist M. Douglas Reed, p. 15, 1, 3
2. Dr. Judith Reisman, The Psychopharmacology of Pictorial Pornography, Restructuring Brain, Mind&Memory&Subverting Freedom of Speech, The Institute for Media Education, 2003, p. 23 
3. Candace Pert, cited in Bill Moyer’s Healing and the Mind, Doubleday, New York, 1991, p. 177
4. Sandra Ackerman, Discovering the Brain, Institute of Medicine, National Academy of Sciences, National Academy Press, Washington, D.C., 1992, p. 76-77
5. Dr. Judith Reisman, The Psychopharmacology of Pictorial Pornography, Ibid., p. 21 
6. M. Douglas Reed, The Role of Pornography in Compulsive or Addictive Sexual Behaviors, Ibid.
7. Dr. Judith Reisman, The Psychopharmacology of Pictorial Pornography, Ibid., p. 23
8. M. Douglas Reed, The Role of Pornography in Compulsive or Addictive Sexual Behaviors, Ibid.
9. Dr. Judith Reisman, The Psychopharmacology of Pictorial Pornography, Ibid., p. 23

Is Pornography a "Drug Addiction"?

The mountains of clinical data and visual evidence as millions continue their out-of-control porn use despite consequences of divorce, loss of employment, destroyed reputations, prison time, etc., shouts the obvious:...

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Little more than a decade ago, pornography addiction rates were a tiny fraction of what they are today. With the advent and spread of the Internet, addiction rates have skyrocketed. Why? What is it about the Internet that has pulled tens of millions into the pornography trap? The answer lies in The Four A’s of the Internet.

 
The Four A’s of the Internet
 
Accessible

It is estimated that splattered throughout the Internet there are over 4.2 million known separate and distinct porn websites, with another 2,500 brand new sites coming online every week.How has this accessibility contributed to soaring pornography addiction rates? Consider the following:

The "4 A's" of the Internet--A Porn Marketer's Dream Come True

Little more than a decade ago, pornography addiction rates were a tiny fraction of what they are today. With the advent and spread of the Internet, addiction rates have skyrocketed.

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I once heard a man tell a story about a hard lesson he learned—only after it was too late. This fellow took special pride in his home’s finely manicured lawn and its flawless landscaping. One afternoon he was in his front yard talking with his neighbor when he noticed something moving in the grass. The neighbor said,  “You have mole crickets. If you don’t do something quickly, your lawn will be destroyed.

The man had never heard of such a thing. He looked at his beautiful, deep green lawn, then shrugged it off as nothing to worry about. A few weeks later he noticed brown spots starting to appear. As the weeks went by, the brown spots spread. He tried adjusting the sprinklers
and used various different fertilizers and sprays, but nothing worked. Within a few months, his once immaculate lawn was in ruins.

He had an expert come out. The verdict came back:  “Mole crickets! “But how? he exclaimed. “I tend this lawn every day and I never saw anything but an occasional bug. The expert lifted up a section of dead sod and there, to the man’s shock and amazement, the grass roots were completely severed!

“Mole crickets, he explained, “live under ground and only come out at night to eat at the roots. The blades look lush and green, but underneath the surface the crickets are eating away. You might see one or two during the day and think it’s no big deal. But by the time the brown spots start appearing, it’s too late; the damage is already done. The expert reached
beneath a patch of brown grass and picked up a thrashing, one-inch-long insect.  ‘This is the culprit, “he said. The man stared down at the little bug and then at his destroyed lawn. He couldn’t believe it.

We enjoy freedom, peace and prosperity in this great country of ours as a result of our forefathers and mothers taking care of the roots—recognizing and destroying the lethal elements before they could do permanent damage. The grass has been green and lush, but brown spots are beginning to appear. Pornography’s “cyber-mole crickets are eating away at the roots of decency and freedom as millions are trapped in addiction. What are we doing to fight them? What will our children and grandchildren do when, through our neglect, procrastination and complacency, society’s once-lush turf lies brown and dead?

Internet porn and sexual-oriented chat rooms are working “under the surface in our society. You can’t immediately see the damage being done. It is quietly and privately going on behind closed doors in bedrooms, dens and offices all across America. It’s a seemingly little thing, really. One person on a computer here, another there. You see the signs of damage every now and then—a woman is raped, a porn-addicted father molests his
daughter, a pedophile stalks a child.  “But these are extremes, you think, “a
few brown spots. Most of the lawn is nice and green. It’s only a few mole crickets.

But under the surface, in millions of homes and offices, outside the direct view of society, a plague is eating away at the roots of freedom, decency, women’s rights, family relationships and values, respect, integrity and honor.  Do we even have a clue to the extent of damage that is being done? How can we accurately predict the long-term consequences for our children, grandchildren and future generations? Never before has this country experienced such an avalanche of pornography—available at the push of a button, on the computer or cell phone screen—to men, women, teens and children. Where will all of this lead? How much damage will the underground mole crickets of porn inflict before we take it all seriously?
“But I’m only one person, you may be thinking, “What can I do against this overwhelming surge? The first thing you must do is PROTECT yourself and your own family. That is what the Net Nanny service is all about. Once you have this critical protection in place, educate yourself about pornography—not through the hype of Hollywood, the mainstream media and pornographers—but learn the full “truth about this modern day “drug.   

For educational articles, podcasts and a FREE mini-course, visit the Candeo website. If  you or someone you care about is caught in the trap of pornography addiction, there is immediate recovery training help available online. Please visit www.candeocan.com for more information.

Mark B. Kastleman is the author of the bestselling book, The Drug of the New Millennium—the Brain Science Behind Internet Pornography Use. Mark and his colleagues are leaders in the development of personal e-learning systems. Through the latest technology, they provide internet-based addiction recovery training and personal growth programs. Mark is Co-Founder and Director of Education&Training at Candeocan.com.  

Pornography and the Mole Crickets

I once heard a man tell a story about a hard lesson he learned—only after it was too late.

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