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Charlene Underhill Miller, PhD
Dr Charlene Underhill Miller, a psychotherapist in Southern California, working with parents, couples and families. She is a frequent and popular speaker to community groups, a professor, a wife and mother. www.underhillmiller.com
Oct 29, 2018
The sounds are all too familiar. A ping, a chirp, a pulse; a fun ring tone or a simple vibration for a text, a tweet, an Instagram post, a Snapchat picture. Hard to resist looking; hard to resist responding. We have all become Pavlov’s dogs. The bell rings and we salivate – or at least jump to look at who is reaching out to us. Kids – and parents, too – are suffering a new kind of social anxiety—one that I call “Twitter anxiety, Snapchat insanity, and Instagram depression.”
Many are becoming obsessed with how many “likes” their post has, whether an Instagram photo includes them, whether a friend will text us back with the kind of speed that makes us feel as though we are important to them. Social media can be both “a-social” and “anti-social.” We have to take control of it so it doesn’t take control of us.
If these currents are difficult for us as parents to navigate, imagine how vulnerable our children are to feeling left out or misunderstood. Kids need to learn how handle posts and tweets with balance and maturity and to avoid undue anxiety when notifications come in – and especially when they don’t.
As parents, we need to help our kids deal with FOMO – the “Fear of Missing Out.” Below are five areas that you can work with your child help reduce social media anxiety.
It’s a long battle, so be tenacious. But also be empathic to their losses even if they seem trivial to you. Be a model in how you handle your own social habits and disappointments. Be mindful that anxiety is real and can take one over. Help your child learn to take positive social actions rather than living life responding to a ping and a ding!