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Ask.fm Cyberbullying

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 14:59:56 -0600

Ask.fm is a new social networking site that has quickly gotten a bad reputation. The site lets you ask questions of your friends anonymously, but that very anonymity seems to be leading some teens to feel that they can cyberbully others without getting caught. The anonymity leads to a poisonous culture where anyone can say any number of nasty and abusive things to their friends without fear of retaliation. Any of a user’s friends on the site could be the bully—or all of them.

The site’s rules say that you must be 13 to sign up, but kids can lie. It’s easy to sign up via your Facebook page, which automatically notifies your friends you’ve signed up.

One teenage girl had this to say about the site: “Within two hours, I had people telling me to kill myself... Someone needs to say something. “

Cyberbullying is serious because there is no escape from it. You can’t just leave the bullies at school and go home. The bullies are there wherever you go online, and not going online is not an option when that’s where all your friends hang out after school.

And unfortunately, some of the teens being cyberbullied have committed suicide. The site has been linked to six suicides. One 15-year-old boy killed himself after receiving several abusive comments that actually told him to kill himself.

Net Nanny Social monitors several popular social networking sites for the danger signs of cyberbullying, as well as other unsavory behaviors online. It doesn’t monitor ask.fm, but there is nothing to be gained from hanging out on a site where teens have free reign to torment each other with anonymous comments with no fear of retaliation. The site’s owners refuse to change anything, instead blaming the users for the vicious behavior that is leading to suicides. Does your child have an account on ask.fm? Is it worth it?

I work for Net Nanny and all opinions are my own.

School's out for summer! Are you ready, mom and dad?

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 11:04:49 -0600

I have four kids. And I know that when kids are home during the summer, they spend a lot more free time wandering the web, hanging out in social networks, playing games, etc. Without rules, guidelines, or time limits, the hours online slip into days and weeks. The challenge is that kids sometimes get into trouble unknowingly in these many digital playgrounds.

And, as a parent, I know that parents are sometimes overwhelmed by new technology, a variety of social networks, and multiple mobile apps available. On the other hand, kids are keenly aware of all of these things and seem to be plugged in. Most importantly, like me, most parents don't have enough time to keep up and to keep track.

Two tips for summer:

1) Put a filtered web browser like Net Nanny on a child's computer and mobile device. A filtered browser makes browsing safer.

2) Get a social network monitor like Net Nanny Social to monitor a child's friends, pics and activities in the most popular social networks: Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Instagram, and Google+.

Parental control software tools such as these allow mom or dad to put protective measures in place to help in the ongoing monitoring of a child online.

Most kids are inherently good, but they are not aware of consequences when sharing too much info online; they may be too trusting of "friends" who they don't really know, they might be drawn into dark places within a few clicks of the mouse, they might be getting bullied and don't know how to ask for help.

Help them. Protect them.

Facebook Losing Appeal with Teens

Thu, 30 May 2013 15:57:48 -0600

Facebook is no longer the center of teens’ social network lives. It used to be “cool,” but now it’s becoming old news. The social network is struggling to keep up with teens who are always looking to explore the latest and greatest.

App creator Adam Ludwin quotes a focus group of 20+ people under the age of 25 saying, “We’re bored with Facebook.” (Source Article)

Teens are now actively using other social networks like Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat. A more intimate and private experience with others seems to be just one of the appeals found outside of Facebook.

One teen, discussing why Facebook Chat has lost some of its appeal, says, “When you go on Facebook Chat the people you don’t want to talk to are always the ones who immediately chat with you.”

Just because teens are open to communicating on other platforms doesn’t mean they are deleting their Facebook accounts entirely, but the company does recognize that its users are expanding their social media horizons.

What can parents do when teens move to other social networks?

Naturally, you want to keep your child safe on the Internet. Whether it is on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, or something else entirely, parents should be monitoring their teen’s online activity. A great way to do that is with Net Nanny Social. Net Nanny Social is a powerful, cloud-based dashboard to help parents stay aware of their teen’s digital footprint and protect them from sexual predators and cyberbullies. Read more about its features here.

I work for Net Nanny and all opinions are my own.

Sex Offenders, like Eric Justin Toth, Have Similar Habits

Tue, 28 May 2013 10:55:37 -0600

Accused child pornographer Eric Justin Toth was captured in Nicaragua this month after running from authorities for five years. As luck would have it, an American tourist recognized him as one of the FBI's Most Wanted.

Mr. Toth, a former teacher at the prestigious Beauvoir school at the Washington Cathedral, has been on the run since school officials found him in possession of explicit photos on a school-owned camera. At the time he was confronted, Toth was a third grade teacher for three years. School officials escorted him off school property after confronting him and then called the FBI. By then, Toth was already on the run.

In a related HLNtv article "Are there pics of your kids online? Read this," the issue of monitoring kids' behavior online is discussed. Posting information and photos online enables online sex offenders to more readily pick a target. That article lists tips on how to keep your kids safer online.

In this article, we will look at the habits of pedophiles.

As a group, sex offenders are difficult to profile. They are from a variety of races and can be female or male, rich or poor, educated or uneducated, and religious or not. Toth is a well-educated man, having earned a degree in education from Purdue University.

A sex offender typically knows his victim. He will pursue a family member, a neighbor, a student, or a friend. He will operate by grooming the victim; in order words, he will take time to win a child's trust and then take advantage of that trust. Toth was working as a third grade teacher when discovered. Some grooming methods include paying attention, showing affection, giving of gifts, making appealing promises, and providing alcohol or pornography to lower inhibitions.

Victims are likely to be children or teens that are neglected, loners, poor, or runaways. Some pedophiles look for single mothers for the purpose of victimizing their unattended child.

If not working directly with children, pedophiles will frequently hang out at playgrounds or other locations where kids gather or play. They will create a kid-friendly environment: toys, games, or other alluring things. The goal is to trade these fun things for sex.

For targeting teens, sex offenders will look for activities that exclude other adults or they will create situations where other adults are not present. One example is a coach or mentor that shows extra attention or gives extra assistance.

Another example is a neighbor that entertains kids or teens and takes them on fun outings. Finally, sex offenders might have a company or business that hires teens and then requires extra time after hours or visits in the owner's home.

Finally, many pedophiles will be employed or will volunteer in roles where they will have contact with kids and teens. Toth worked closely with children; before teaching third graders, he was a nanny, a teaching assistant, and youth counselor.

Remember Jerry Sandusky of Penn State? He founded a non-profit charity to work with underprivileged and at-risk youth. Sandusky was convicted on 45 counts of sexual abuse.

What can a parent do to protect their child?

First, be aware of the methodologies mentioned above that are commonly used by sex offenders. If you are aware of the practices used by pedophiles, you will more likely key in on similar behaviors evident in neighbors, coaches, or family friends.

Look for those who show an unusual amount of personal attention and who also seek for time alone with a child or teen. My best advice to parents: when in doubt, trust your gut.

The following is a resource for tracking sex offenders: National Sex Offender Registry of the U.S. Dept of Justice - www.nsopw.gov (has a comprehensive list by state).

Social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and others have changed the rules of the pornographer's game. These sites now offer powerful tools for pedophiles trading in child pornography images and videos or for perverts looking to enhance their virtual sex life.

For parents looking for technology to help monitor kids and teens online, there are software tools to monitor social network (i.e., Facebook) posts, friends, and photos. Also, there are tools to monitor or restrict the websites that kids browse, to keep them from viewing inappropriate content. And, there are tools to manage the apps used on a teen's smartphone or tablet. To find such resources, check out Top Ten Reviews, ZDNet, or CNET. Or, use Net Nanny Social to monitor kids' friends, pics, and posts on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Google+.

Porn was a Problem in our Relationship--But Things Have Changed

Thu, 23 May 2013 10:10:46 -0600

This is a letter from a customer; we share it with her permission:

I was skeptical that NetNanny would still be on my husband's computer a week after I started actually using it, but as of yet he hasn’t figured out a way to uninstall it or get around it. He still hints around occasionally that we could just take this silly program off, but after six months I think he is starting to understand, that isn’t happening.

Since installing the software I have noticed a shift in several areas of our relationship. First off, he wastes a whole lot less time on his computer.

Second, he seems to be more affectionate towards me. I noticed this almost immediately, and honestly figured it was just an effort to get me to unblock his computer. It has been almost six months however and he is definitely showing me more attention. I enjoy being able to look over the web history and if need be, print it out so we can look over it together.

I have been so impressed with the Net Nanny software that I have now installed it on all three of the computers in the house. The software filter seems to catch most sites that are porn. Overall I have been very pleased with your software and what it has done for our relationship.

I did not realize how much of a problem porn was in our relationship. The amount of time that our daughters and I have my husband's undivided attention has more than doubled. Grades have improved across the board in our house.

I have shared information with other parents concerning things to keep an eye on. Facebook is a safer place. We had taken our teenage daughters computer out of her room a few months ago due to what we found just looking through her search history.

After using Net Nanny on my husband’s computer we purchased and installed the software and after getting the settings perfect on her computer we were able to put it back in her room yesterday. I feel safe knowing I can check her reports on Net Nanny and set time limits so I don’t have to worry that she is up and on the computer after she should be asleep.

We have an awesome home alarm system but the Net Nanny software does just as much if not more to keep my family safe. It was a little strange at first to basically tell my husband what he could not look at on his computer and even on his phone. Once I went through a few of his reports however that feeling went away and it was replaced by a feeling of love and respect for our relationship. Thank You!

A Mom's Contract with a Teen to Promote Mobile Responsibility

Wed, 22 May 2013 11:05:37 -0600

I was impressed by a blog in January by Janelle Burley Hofman and the letter she wrote to her son about his responsibilities as a teenager with a new smart phone.

Given that June is Internet Safety Month, I submit the letter to you. If more parents took such a proactive role with their kids, I believe kids would have a safer online experience.

Here's the letter in its entirety. Enjoy!

Dear Gregory,

Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership.

I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.

It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren’t I the greatest?
I will always know the password.
If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads “Mom” or “Dad”. Not ever.
Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone’s land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.
It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It’s a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.
If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.
Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.
Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.
Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.
No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person – preferably me or your father.
Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.
Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else’s private parts. Don’t laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear – including a bad reputation.
Don’t take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.
Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO – fear of missing out.
Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.
Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.
Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.
You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

It is my hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine. I love you. I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone. Merry Christmas!

xoxoxo

Mom

Net Nanny Protects Teen Girl from Sexual Predator and Helps Convict Him

Tue, 21 May 2013 10:28:29 -0600

Four years ago, a woman in New York named April, researched Internet filtering software. Her 15-year-old daughter Sabrina had just received a new laptop and she wanted to protect it.

At the time, April found Net Nanny. She learned that it blocked pornography and other undesired topics, masked profanity, enforced time usage limits, and monitored social media and chat activity. As it turned out, it was Net Nanny’s Instant Messaging (IM) and chat room monitoring feature that proved most beneficial for April.

April began monitoring Sabrina's online and IM activity through Net Nanny with no signs of unusual activity for a few months.

But then Sabrina met John at a party; he was a 20-year-old friend of a friend. They began communicating by text, email, and IM on Yahoo Messenger. Sabrina told her mother she liked John, but April made it clear Sabrina wasn’t allowed to date someone his age. Sabrina seemed to agree, but a few month later, April noticed something was odd.

She investigated further, reviewing a few Net Nanny reports, and discovered that Net Nanny had flagged quite a few IM conversations as dangerous. Shocked and disgusted by the conversations, April immediately contacted the police.

She learned that John had been grooming Sabrina through sexually explicit text messages for months, bypassing the safeguard April had established for her daughter online.

“I later found out that John was picking Sabrina up at night after she had gone to bed, then returning her home before morning,” said April. “The seemingly innocent friendship had developed into a sexual relationship and he was photographing those acts with my daughter.”

Police identified John by his computer’s IP address, obtained a search warrant for his computer, and found transcripts of explicit conversations and photographs with a number of other girls Sabrina’s age. April’s documented proof of the conversations between John and her daughter helped police convict John of disseminating indecent material to a minor in the first degree. He was sentenced to serve six months in jail, 10 years probation, and was required to register as a level one sex offender.

Sabrina initially defended John, not wanting him to get in trouble for their relationship. However, when police showed her John’s photos and conversations with other girls that greatly resembled her own interactions with him, Sabrina was devastated and heartbroken. After realizing she was a victim to John’s lies, Sabrina received counseling to help her address her role in the abuse. Healing and re-establishing trust with her mother were then able to take place.

April’s proactive decision to protect her daughter online removed Sabrina from a dangerous situation and put a predator in jail. Here at Net Nanny, we’re glad we could help.

If you’d like to protect your children online by monitoring their social network activity, get Net Nanny Social. It helps protects kids from online threats and monitors activities related to your child’s “friends,” cyberbullying, sexual predators, privacy concerns, and reputation-damaging pictures or videos.

Do you have a story similar to April’s of protecting your child online? We’d love to hear from you!

*Names have been changed to protect the victim and her family from further persecution and harm.

There's Real Danger in Sharing Too Much Online

Wed, 15 May 2013 13:09:01 -0600

In March, a teenage girl was murdered while home alone in Tulsa. A few hours before she died, she tweeted, “Have the house to myself everybody gone.”

Sometimes, we share too much information online. At the time of this story, it had not been proven the killer saw her Twitter feed; but announcing you're home alone to the general public is not a good idea.

Like the reporter in this story, I searched on Twitter for the phrase “I’m home alone” and found tweets from young and old alike.

Sadly, the murder case is an extreme example of what could happen if you share too much information online. But even less extreme consequences aren’t worth it. Other consequences of information oversharing could include home burglary while on vacation or identity thieves taking your identity because you posted your birthdate, address, and cellphone number on Facebook.

It's called the "World Wide Web" for a reason—it’s worldwide.

What should a parent do?

Talk with your kids about the problem of sharing too much online.
Consider getting a parental controls software solution to help you monitor what your teens are saying on social network sites. At Top Ten Reviews, check out the list of products to help monitor a child's Facebook use. Or, use Net Nanny Social.
And, as one social media expert said: Parents should drill into their child’s mind that when they post on social media, they should avoid revealing the three W's. Those stand for who they are with, where they are going, and when they will arrive.

These three W's are the same details parents insist on having in order to find a child if something goes wrong. So it should be no surprise that a child should not share this information online…with strangers.

I work for Net Nanny and all opinions are my own.

Ariel Castro Showed Typical Sex Offender Behavior

Tue, 14 May 2013 11:32:57 -0600

Ariel Castro of Cleveland made headlines this week for allegedly kidnapping, imprisoning, and raping three women inside his house for the past ten years. Evidence indicates the women were kidnapped as teens and have remained bound to prevent escape. He also fathered one living child.

If true, Castro's crimes are deplorable and inexcusable. Sadly, some of his actions are common among sex offenders.

It's important for parents to be aware of such behaviors in order to protect kids. Parents need to be aware that anyone could be a sex offender, not just people who fit a pre-conceived stereotype.

Sex Offender Profile?

Sex offenders prove difficult to profile. There is no specific race, gender, education level, income level, or religion that indicate sex offender behavior.

But, a sex offender typically knows his victim. He targets family members, friends, neighbors, or students. Each of the women abducted by Castro lived in Cleveland, with their abductions sited only miles within where they were discovered. One of the victims was a friend of Castro's own daughter.

A sex offender may take time to gain a victim's trust or will groom a victim. Some grooming methods include showing affection, paying attention, making appealing promises, gift giving, and providing alcohol or pornography to lower inhibitions.

All three women say Castro lured them into his van and detained them in his house. One disappeared at the age of 16 in 2003 after calling her sister saying she was getting a ride home from her job at Burger King. Another disappeared when 14 years old, about a year later from this first girl, on her way home from school.

If not working with children directly, pedophiles will create opportunities to be near parks, playgrounds, or other places where kids gather and play.

Sex offenders may create a kid-friendly environment to attract kids. They hope to use games, toys, or other alluring items as trade for sex.

When targeting teens, sex offenders look for roles that exclude other adults from being present. An example is a mentor that gives extra assistance or shows extra attention.

Victims tend to be those children and teens that are lonely, neglected, runaway, or poor.

Often sex offenders may have been victims themselves. During the investigation of Castro's house, the FBI discovered a note written by Castro in 2004. In the note, Castro contemplates suicide and discusses his sexual abuse as a child by an uncle.

Sex offenders usually search for work that involves children. They will even volunteer for positions where they will have direct contact with kids. Castro was a school bus driver since 1991 before he was fired last November.

Although it is still unclear whether she knew Castro through his employment, one victim who disappeared at age 20, attended one of the schools Castro's bus route covered.

How can parents protect kids?

First, familiarize yourself with the habits mentioned above that are commonly practiced by sex offenders. By becoming familiar of the methods used by pedophiles, you will more likely identify similar traits in family friends, neighbors, or coaches.

Second, notice those who give an unusual amount of extra attention or seek alone time with a child or teen.

Third, my best advice to parents: trust your gut. When in doubt, it is better to go with your intuition.

The federal government has created a resource to track sex offenders with the National Sex Offender Registry of the U.S. Dept of Justice - www.nsopw.gov (it has a comprehensive list by state).

Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Pinterest, and other social networks have changed the way sex offenders operate. These sites provide powerful tools for pedophiles seeking ways to contact and meet children.

To protect your child from possible dangers linked with social networking sites, parental control software tools are available to monitor posts, friends, and photos. These tools can also monitor or restrict the websites that children browse, preventing them from viewing inappropriate content. These tools extend to tablets and smartphones as they manage apps as well. To find resources, check out websites such as Top Ten Reviews, ZDNet, or CNET.

Kids as Young as Two Have an Online History

Thu, 09 May 2013 10:03:38 -0600

Remember when you brought your first date home? My siblings delighted in showing her embarrassing photos of me. Well, there isn't much reason to pull out the ole photo album anymore. Most people can "friend" you or your family members online or just find your public profile to see many pics or details you may have wanted to keep private.

This trend now affects everyone. In fact, one recent study said 92 percent of kids under the age of 2 already have a digital footprint. Kids that age are too young to post online by themselves of course, it's their parents and/or siblings that have created their digital profile.

It starts with the ultrasound pic announcing pregnancy. Then you read live Tweets during birth, divulging the exact date and time of the baby's birth. Once online, information cannot be easily removed.

As a child grows, the excited parents' online friends will see updates about potty-training and funny first words. This happens years before baby even knows about social media sites.

What happens when the child becomes a teen and signs up for Facebook? Will his mom "tag" him in his ultrasound picture?

This trend of openly sharing our lives online is new ground. Social media has only really been around for a few years. Today’s thirteen year-olds wouldn’t have had their ultrasound pics posted on Facebook, Tumblr or Instagram. But parents now upload personal information all the time.

There are many types of professionals who make a living finding and using your personal information. They range from identity thieves, hackers, private detectives, bounty hunters, and even skiptracers.

What's a skiptracer? One of our Net Nanny Community fans, Carolynn Y, is a skiptracer. Her job is to find personal information, for any number of purposes. A skiptracer is similar to aprivate investigator.

Carolyn said: "I find people for a living; I find most people through their children who post their cell phone numbers on their open access Facebook pages. In fact, when I am trying to find someone, I go to Facebook and look for a person's "young" relatives. They almost always have their privacy settings loose and they either post their number on their wall (especially when they get new ones) OR they post their numbers on their best friend's posts. I find them there too."

So what’s a proud parent to do? Should you share every detail about your kids online? Maybe. But you have to be very careful about what and with whom you share.

Two suggestions:

1) Invite trusted family and friends to a private blog, on the condition they never repost or share the details you share.

2) If you really need to post something on Facebook, post it to a select group of friends, not your entire friend list. Don't make your profile public.

Based on what's done today, this might sound paranoid. But, I believe it's a sound practice.

These safety measures aren’t foolproof, of course. One unscrupulous friend can post or tag you in an embarrassing photo anytime. But it’s better than going down the path we are all on.

To read a related, somewhat frightening story (mostly fictional) that I shared previously, see the following article: Your Online Privacy (Or Lack Thereof). This discusses what might happen in the future when companies recruit new employees or insurance companies research customers. With thousands of details available online, a potential employee or customer can't hide the facts about their life.

I work for Net Nanny and all opinions are my own.

Pornography and Divorce

Wed, 08 May 2013 14:35:17 -0600

Pornography doesn’t just affect the individuals who watch it. It often affects the people around them as well. And nowhere is this more evident than in marriages that have ended because of pornography addiction.

There are several studies that indicate that watching pornography correlates with infidelity and divorce. The statistics are sobering. Of those who had watched an X-rated movie in the last year, 25.6% were more likely to be divorced. 65.1% were more likely to report having had an extramarital affair. 8% were less likely to report having a happy marriage, and 13.1% were less likely to be happy with life in general.

In contrast, those who reported being happily married were 61% less likely to report use of internet pornography.

In 2002, Richard Barry, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, said, “Pornography had an almost nonexistent role in divorce just seven or eight years ago.” That’s about the time when the internet became commercially available, and therefore, internet pornography was widely available.

If you or a loved one is addicted to pornography, Net Nanny can help. Net Nanny has an Addict Sponsor program where you can get a free copy of Net Nanny for six months as long as you have a sponsor to set up and monitor Net Nanny for you. In addition, you can buy Net Nanny in order to prevent ever having to see pornography in the first place, and avoid all the heartache. Net Nanny is available for Windows and Mac as well as Android and iOS.

I work for Net Nanny and all opinions are my own.

Anonymity: The Key To Social Media Cyberbullying?

Tue, 07 May 2013 10:45:54 -0600

Cyberbullying is a topic on the minds of most parents with Internet-using youngsters. That’s just about all parents, by the way – 95% of all teens age 12-17 are now online. But online harassment doesn’t just affect kids and teens. A recent study in the UK found that 8 out of 10 workers surveyed at several UK universities had been harassed online in the last six months (most commonly being humiliated, ignored or gossiped about online). Many researchers suggest a link between the relative anonymity of comments posted online as well as the lack of social cues inherent in non-visual communication with a rise in cyberbullying on social media networks.

According to research compiled by the non-profit organization Pew Internet, participation in social media networks like Facebook and Twitter is greater than ever. A whopping 80% of internet users aged 12-17, 83% of internet-using young adults (age 18-29) and 77% of internet users age 30-49 use social networking sites. While the majority of social media users report that “people are mostly kind” on social media (85% of social network-using adults and 69% of teens aged 12-17), more teens report unfriendly experiences. When polled by Pew Internet Project researchers, 5% of adults reported people are mostly unkind versus 20% of teens.

Among social media-using teens, 88% have seen someone be mean or cruel to another person on a social media site. Of those, 90% of teens who witnessed online cruelty say they have ignored it, 35% reporting that they do so frequently.

Many studies have shown that anonymity increases the likelihood that people will behave badly. A famous 1950s experiment by Yale professor Robert Milgram instructed study participants to deliver supposedly increasingly painful electric shocks to “students” (actually actors) when they answered memory questions incorrectly. The study was meant to show that everyday people can be influenced to bad behavior when instructed to do so by someone in a position of authority. What it also showed is that those that couldn’t see victims were more likely to give potentially lethal doses of electric shock.

This science can be applied to online interactions. Even people who know each other are more inclined to be rude, hurtful or thoughtless when they aren’t face-to-face. In an interview with Health magazine, Lenox Hill Hospital’s clinical psychologist Alan Manevitz, M.D. explained, “There’s a freedom of speech without a fear of consequences.” It doesn’t help that humans usually respond to visual cues like body language, gestures and facial expressions as well as tone of voice when placing comments in context. This can lead to online comments being read and interpreted as more aggressive or threatening than intended and cause recipients to respond in kind.

One in four teens reports they are “cell-mostly” internet users, using a phone to access the internet more often than a standard computer. Internet use on mobile handheld devices increases the likelihood your teen may become involved in cyberbullying. When there was only one portal to the internet—the family computer—it was easier for parents to monitor their kid’s online activities. Not only could parents more readily observe where their kid was spending his time online, they could watch for signs their child was being harassed and more easily ensure that their teen wasn’t participating in treating others poorly. Mobile devices allow teens to be more often online unsupervised.

There’s also a certain “pack mentality” to social media interactions. A surprising 21% of social media-using teens admitted to joining in when they witnessed online cruelty. All of this can make Facebook and Twitter a potentially dangerous place for those with shaky self-esteem (you know, just about every teenager) or frankly anyone without a very thick skin.

Luckily, the structure of Facebook at least ties comments to a poster’s profile, which removes some of the anonymity. Publicly acknowledging harassment is often all it takes to cause a bully or someone making unkind comments to back off. The psychological drive behind a bully is often a desire to feel power over a potential victim. Politely but firmly telling them to back off is an important first step.

However, before you respond with anger to a comment or status update posted online, take a breather. Try to imagine yourself in a room with the person and what it would feel like to say it to their face. If that scenario makes you uncomfortable, better wait until you’re calm and reply with grace.

Finally, I know we’ve said it before (ok, a lot), but talk to your kids about their social media experiences. Set rules about when they can use social media and under what terms, make sure that they limit their interactions to only close friends and family, and monitor their account privacy settings to ensure that they don’t get in over their heads.

If you like the idea of your kids being able to connect and learn with phones but they're not quite responsible enough to handle the vast freedom and dangers of the internet, consider buying Net Nanny for your child's Android smartphone. It filters the kind of website content they can see, masks profanity, and you can set it to block your child from using other apps to get around the restriction. It works for both Android tablets and smartphones.

Have "The Talk" About Pornography

Wed, 01 May 2013 10:20:42 -0600

Teens today are accustomed to having almost constant Internet access. Whether it’s on a home computer, laptop, tablet, or smartphone, kids love to stay connected. Parents—who are keenly aware of the inherent dangers of the Internet—have a responsibility to protect kids online. There are many important topics parents should discuss with their kids about Internet safety, but pornography is one that often gets neglected due to embarrassment.

Parents, you must talk to your kids about pornography, being candid and direct. Explain what you consider pornographic and why such material is dangerous.

Pornography is like a drug, triggering addictive chemical responses in the brain. It actually rewires the decision-making part of the brain. Also, it portrays sex unrealistically and through singular focus on the physical, hinders teens when they try to form relationships. Take charge and teach your kids about building genuine, long-lasting, significant relationships with others before pornography skews their perception of normal.

Pornography is virtually everywhere and your teen will find it sooner or later, intentionally or not. It’s estimated that kids are first being exposed to pornography between the ages of 8 and 11. In 2009, Symantec released results of 14.7 million web searches run by users of its parental control software. “Porn” was the 4^th most common search term for kids 7 and under and the 6^th most common for teens 13-18. Talk to your kids about pornography before someone else does.

If you want to talk to your kids about pornography, but don't know where to start, watch this webinar (5 Things Kids Wish You Knew When Addressing Pornography) for some great information and tips from Clay Olsen of Fight the New Drug.

As additional protection once you’ve discussed pornography and have established family rules on the matter, try using a porn blocking software. Net Nanny can block content you deem inappropriate and alert you if problems come up.

I work for ContentWatch and all opinions expressed here are my own.

The Detrimental Effects of Pornography on Small Children

Wed, 01 May 2013 10:03:22 -0600

Smaller children typically view pornography at home. How? They find an unlocked smartphone, tablet, PC, or magazine collection. If pornography is accessible, the child might assume that such material is OK. A young mind believes that if mom or dad approve, it must be good.

Most statistics on pornography use say the average age of a child's first exposure to pornography is 11 years old. Does that imply younger children are not at risk with pornography viewing? No, not at all.

When a minor views and consumes pornography, he may act out the images seen onscreen. Many times, that happens with younger family members or neighbors, or friends. Therapists have started to discuss the effect of sexually-explicit TV programs and pornography and the part they play in sexualizing children.

A recent law enforcement study in the UK revealed 20% of sexual offense cases involving minors included abuse of a family member. In another third of cases, a friend of the family was victimized.

In addition to these alarming trends, it's obvious that pedophiles target children and, unfortunately, these addicts have devolved to assaulting small children and even infants to fulfill their sexual fantasies.

The study in Britain said that pornography and its related depictions of sexuality reduced thousands of children (some as young as five) to sexual offenders. The information disclosed in the study said 4,562 minors (98% were boys) committed 5,028 sexual offenses from 2009 to 2012. In this study, three separate police groups reported five-year-olds committing sexual offenses.

What's missing from any reports and studies are the incidents that are unreported by victims. The real number of victims and offenders is much higher.

Parents know that small children mimic what they watch. If a child sees love, kindness, and cooperation, these traits are copied.

Patrick Trueman, a former federal prosecutor for the Reagan Administration and current president of Morality in Media said, “But when [children] see sexual violence, domination, rape, and other similar acts so commonly depicted in modern-day pornography, as today’s children do, they will act out those, as well.”

Pornography viewing among children and teens has its effect. John Woods, child therapist, reported one of his patients, a 13-year old boy, had raped his 5-year old sister. The boy had been viewing pornography for two years.

In Calgary, Alberta, a 13-year-old boy had frequently viewed homosexual pornography and claimed it led him to recurrently rape a 4-year-old boy living with him in their foster home. The teen was arrested, convicted and sentenced.

In our digital world, a high percentage of children get their "sex education" by viewing pornography. Pornography implicitly promotes a self-centered view of sexuality. Onscreen, loving relationships do not exist.

La Trobe University in Australia released a study in 2010 that found boys that watch pornography are more likely to demean and harass girls.

What can parents do?

First, parents must take preventive measure by locking PCs, tablets, and smartphones with a safe browser or Internet filter to eliminate the availability of pornography for kids and teens.

To see a list of parental controls software from a third-party review website, go to www.TopTenReviews.com and search for "parental controls" software. In this category, Net Nanny is the market leader.

In summary, small children don't usually watch pornography. Sadly, they either stumble across it or, more unfortunately, they become the innocent victims of crimes and assaults by those who do view it regularly.

Source:

UK Study: http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/porn-turned-tho usands-of-british-children-into-sex-offenders-report-says?utm_source=LifeSiteNews.com+Daily+Newsletter&utm_campaign=a90268c984-LifeSiteNews_com_US_Headlines_03_04_2013&utm_medium=email

Looking at Child Pornography is Not A Victimless Crime

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 10:12:43 -0600

Earlier, we blogged about how victims of child pornography were entitled to restitution. These laws are new, and there is some controversy over just how much restitution is owed, and by whom.

Some people say that looking at child pornography is a victimless crime. After all, they’re just looking. They’re not the ones abusing the unfortunate child in the photos and videos that circulate the internet. But some victims of child porn disagree. They say that they are revictimized every time someone downloads a photo or video depicting their abuse. They say that it hurts them to know that others are profiting from their pain.

One victim (who goes by “Nicole”) said, on finding out that pictures of her abuse had been distributed all over the world, “Knowing that other people, all over, had seen me like that, I just froze. I could hear my mother crying, but I couldn’t cry.”

A 2004 law requires that crime victims receive notice every time a suspect is arrested or has a court appearance. Nicole said about the notices, “We stacked them in a laundry basket in a walk-in closet so I wouldn’t have to see them. Then there were more baskets, and we had to move them to the garage. It was really hard for me. I was still scared of my father, but I knew him. These other people, they were strangers, and there were so many of them.”

The victim in our earlier post, Amy, has successfully sued various defendants who downloaded her pictures, more than 150 so far. Nicole has won in 204 cases.

There is no question that the victims of child pornography continue to suffer, even after the actual physical abuse has stopped.

Parents, monitor your children. They need to be informed about the dangers of encountering sexual predators online as well as offline. Talk to them openly and honestly and let them know that they are always welcome to talk to you about anything disturbing they see online or in real life. In addition, parents should be vigilant, and make use of the numerous Internet filters out there to monitor their children and help protect them from the filth that can be found online.

Is "just a little" pornography OK?

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 16:52:43 -0600

Forty-three percent of Internet users look at pornography. The number of women who view pornography is also increasing. It seems a growing number of adults and teens believe that "just a little" pornography is not harmful. In my opinion, this statement is dangerous.

Pornography promotes an unrealistic view of sexuality. It glorifies sexual behavior that does not exist in the average person's life. It degrades and objectifies women due to its focus on basal urges. Its viewers cannot develop any significant emotional meaning from it.

Some might argue that occasional pornography viewing is psychologically harmless and some will even argue that it's healthy. It's likely that viewing pornography once or twice will probably not cause addiction or lasting affects. However, that also depends on the viewer and the images viewed.

On the other hand, researchers and addicts agree that regular viewing of pornography does effect a behavioral change. The more pornography you view, the more the brain requires that stimulation.

The stronger the urge to view, the more drastic variety of images and videos the addiction demands. To get the same level of satisfaction over time, the pornography purveyor has to view more often and for longer periods of time. The brain requires it. Thus, viewing pornography can have an effect.

When viewed excessively, it tends to keep addicts from creating healthy interactions with others, including simple social interactions.

Many addicts prefer pornography over having a positive sexual relationship. Some addicts are no longer aroused with human sexual contact. Some addicts can only get aroused with pornography.

Many addicts suffer with depression and anxiety. When trying to quit, addicts will suffer withdrawal.

Pornography reduces the emotional and glorifies the physical. A healthy sexual relationship between two loving adults is good and natural. Pornography viewing tends to dissociate the connection of sex in a loving, emotional relationship with a focus on the physical.

"Just a little" pornography may be the starting point, and it may not be the ending point, but it's likely not going to help the affected achieve a happy point.

I work for ContentWatch and all opinions are my own.

The Internet is Just Like Junior High

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 12:46:21 -0600

Some experts believe that the internet perpetuates childhood. It’s like being eternally stuck in junior high. On the internet, you’re anonymous, so it’s easy to call someone names, or spread inappropriate pictures of them. You don’t have to see how it affects them. There’s no responsibility for your actions.

There are all the same cliques, so you never have to hear an opinion different than yours. If you do stumble across someone with a different opinion, just leave a comment calling them stupid and move on. And you never have to turn it off. It’s all available at the press of a button, or the swipe of a finger. The squirt of dopamine we get when we indulge in instant gratification keeps us coming back for more. We also crave the attention we get when we post something online, be it a video or a meme. It doesn’t matter what you say or do, and it doesn’t matter if the attention is positive or negative. It only matters that you got attention. Yup; definitely sounding like junior high.

What does all this mean? It means that kids are getting addicted to wasting time online, all the while exposing themselves to all sorts of online dangers. These dangers include sexual predators, cyberbullies, and even identity thieves, all of whom want to gather as much information about your child as possible in order to harm him or her.

Just like we would never leave a school full of pre-teens and teenagers to themselves, we shouldn’t let our teens on the internet without supervision. Consider yourself the principal of the school, with internet filters like Net Nanny as your hall monitor. Net Nanny will tell you what your kids do when they’re out of your sight, so you never have to worry about what they’re doing when you’re not in the room.

I work for Net Nanny and all opinions are my own.

If Your Child Displays Photos on Social Networks... Be Aware of These Consequences

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 11:40:13 -0600

In today's virtual world with social networks, we all seem to have forgotten that a picture is worth a thousand words.

Kids upload thousands of photos online. Facebook receives about 350,000,000 new images per day. The total number of photos on Facebook is greater than 240 billion now. (Source) I can't even comprehend that number.

One challenge related to this behavior of uploading pictures is that they have a very long shelf-life and remain online for years. You have to ask yourself: do you want those memories available that long? What if you had a change of heart, change in love interest, change in behavior, change of school, etc.? What if you want to forget that weekend, that person, that event…?

Kids don't usually think much about the future. They upload photos without considering longevity or propriety. To capitalize on this trend, social networks have evolved to feature images as the primary medium — such as Instagram, Tumblr, Voto, and Flickr. Some feature video — such as YouTube and Vine.

The challenges with uploading the barrage of photos and information are many, including these few examples:

College admissions boards are using social network photos and information to determine a college candidate's viability. (Source)
Sexual predators use social networks to find prey.
Gangs are using social networks to persuade attractive teens to meet, and then kidnap to work in the sex trade. (Source)
Pornographers are using facial recognition software to give paying customers a customized experience, and that could include your child's image. (Source)
Cyberbullies use social networks to taunt, tease, torment — even to the point of blackmail, death, or suicide.
Identity theft related to sharing too much information, including birth dates and photos — even toddlers are targeted. (Source)

What can you do to keep kids and their identities safe?

Increase the "privacy" setting of your child's profile on social networks. Just let "friends" (or Friends of Friends) see personal details.
Limit who can send messages to your child on their social networks. Do not let everyone have access.
Use an "appropriate" profile photo. Inappropriate photos get noticed and used by the wrong crowd.
Remove old photos from "public" view.
Do not allow friends of friends to tag photos; only allow friends who are appropriate.
Filter your child's friends network. Set up lists with privacy settings that are appropriate.
Talk candidly with you child about the do's and don'ts of posting online.
To be safe, do not post a birth date, full name, home address, cell number, school name, sibling / family name, pet's name, etc.

There are a few parental control software solutions on the market to help parents monitor their child's activity on social networks, including Facebook. Parents need help keeping up. Go to a software review site such as Top Ten Reviews to see their list (search for "Facebook monitoring" software).

This month, Net Nanny will release a similar product called Net Nanny Social to help parents keep track of photos, posts, and activities in social networks.

I work for Net Nanny and all opinions are my own.

Apple's In-App Purchases Settlement

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 12:11:34 -0600

Before March 2011, Apple’s policy allowed in-app purchases to be made in newly downloaded apps for 15 minutes without having to enter a password. After parents complained that some children were accumulating hundreds of dollars in charges during that short time frame without permission, Apple changed their policy to require a password for every in-app purchase made.

Just over a month ago, Apple settled with parents who sued the company for making it too easy for kids to spend money in apps without parental authorization.

Many parents have been shocked to see up to $300 in-app purchase expenses on their credit card bills as a result of the old policy. To make amends, Apple is agreeing to give qualifying customers $5 iTunes credit or cash.

Apple is striving to have a policy that will protect their customers, but parents should be doing their part as well. Set clear rules for your family about using apps on mobile devices and making in-app purchases. Also, don’t give device passwords to your children. It may seem like a hassle, but it’s better to keep the control in your hands so your kids don’t—accidentally or otherwise—spend your money without you knowing about it.

For Android users, Net Nanny offers App Manager which gives you control of apps on your child’s device and even lets you block in-app purchases.

I work for Net Nanny and all opinions are my own.

Cyberbullying Hurts Too

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 10:08:47 -0600

According to a new study, sticks and stones aren’t the only things that hurt after all. Words hurt just as badly. The study found that cyberbullying was just as likely to negatively affect children as physical bullying was.

Kids who were cyberbullied were just as likely to skip school or contemplate suicide as kids who were bullied in person. About a quarter of the kids surveyed consistently reacted the same way, whether the bullying was physical or on the screen.

Cyberbullying is not something to be taken lightly just because it’s only words on a screen. It is just as serious as other forms of bullying. Skipping school could have negative consequences on your child’s future, and contemplating suicide could lead to your child not having a future.

Watch what your kids are doing online. Whether they’re bullying or being bullied, the parents need to know. You can help prevent cyberbullying by teaching your children to respect others, online and off. Remind them that just because they don’t see how the mean things they say affect others doesn’t mean that those effects aren’t real. Some signs that your child might be a victim of cyberbullying include mood changes, sadness, poor school performance, social withdrawal, and lack of appetite.

Consider using an internet filter for your children to help catch cyberbullying. In addition, Net Nanny Social is coming. It will let you monitor your child’s accounts on several popular social media sites, so you can see the warning signs before it’s too late.

I work for ContentWatch and all opinions are my own.